Counseling


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What's New?

The following files are forms or handouts that you could use as homework for those you counsel. These are geared towards teens or adults and made with the purpose of learning how to change one's thinking to make it Biblical.Instructions are included on each worksheet. If the links are missing or do not work, please try back soon or contact the author. We are working to fix errors.

  1. How To Change Your Thinking (This sheet contains two columns. One is so the counselee can write what he is thinking and the other is to write what God says. It encourages learning to think Biblically instead of dwelling on feelings or Satan's lies.) Note: There is one small error (an incorrect letter in directions). This should be fixed soon.(Page layout is self explanatory. You could print in color or black and white.)

  2. Track Your Responses To Others (This sheet has four columns, each one is designed to help the counselee think through what others did or said that bothered him, what he inwardly thought about the situation, how he responded outwardly, and how God says that he should handle it in the future.)(Page layout is self explanatory. You could print in color or black and white.)

  3. Timeline Of Your Life (The counselee can use this sheet to write out and sort through the events, feelings, and problems in his life so he can eventually learn to deal with them Biblically.) (Page layout is self explanatory. You could print in color or black and white.)

  4. Making Measurable Goals (NEW!) (This sheet is different in format from the column worksheets, but similar. Use this sheet to make measurable goals for yourself. Write the area you want to improve. a general goal, and then write specific goals. Example: Area: Spiritual Walk General Goal: “To be Christ-like” Specific Goal: “I will read a chapter of the Bible every day.” (Page layout is self explanatory. You could print in color or black and white.)

  5. Blank 4 Column Sheet (Look at resources 1-2 for ideas of how to use this blank worksheet for whatever you are counseling someone regarding. Customize it to meet your needs. If you have suggestions for ones that you'd like us to make, please contact us.)

Please scroll down to find more resources for counseling children and teens.

Definitions for kids

Sometimes, we use words in teaching children without thinking to explain them in terms they can easily understand. Here are some definitions I have found useful in my lessons and discussions with children and teens. Note: Some of these words have more than one meaning and their meanings may change depending on the context of the Scripture passage you are using.

"Gospel" means "good news of Christ"

"Redeem" means "bought back"

"Justified" means "declared righteous" or "God considers me clean from my sin"

"Grace (of God)" means "God giving me a free gift I could never deserve"

(eternal life in Heaven)

"Eternal" means "it lasts forever"

"Faith" means "believing in what you cannot see"

"Mercy (of God)" means "God not giving me the punishment I deserve."

"Sin" means "Anything I do, say, or think that displeases God or breaks His law."

"Righteous" means "right with God"

"Works" means "the good things I do"

"Trust" means "to have confidence in God" or "to believe"

"Savior" means "rescuer" (Jesus rescued you from the punishment of sin in Hell)

"Holy" means "to live Godly, and set apart from sin"

"Saved" means "rescued" or "one who will no longer face punishment in hell for eternity"

"Repent" means "turning away from sin"

"Wages" means "a payment or what you deserve"

"Disciple" means "follower"

"Substitution" means "Jesus taking your place or punishment"

"Joy" means "to be confident in God regardless of circumstances"

"Fellowship" means "closeness" (with God)

"Temptation" means "tricked into doing wrong" or a "testing"

"Confess" means "to make known" or "to be sorry for sin"

Counseling Teens?

Youth (and adults!) around this country and around the world need to know the truth from God's Word! They may come to you for counsel and help. Make sure you are ready to answer their questions with the Bible, not just your own opinion! Below are some topics, verses, and simple explanations for a variety of topics.

Topic: Bitterness

Definition: Bitterness is a resentment, hate, or grudge that one has towards another due to hurt caused by them.

Verses/counsel

Bitterness leads to wanting revenge on a person. "Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:17-21)

The opposite of being bitter towards someone is to love and forgive them when they wrong you. "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

"Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;" (Hebrews 12:14-15)

Reasons for the problem

  1. Bitterness can be caused from gossip or other sins.

  2. Bitterness can be caused from holding a grudge against someone for an extended amount of time.

  3. Some blame God for difficult circumstances.

Ways to overcome the problem

  1. Realize there are people in your life that you have also wronged.

  2. Choose to forgive by first realizing God forgave your sins.

Homework

  1. Memorize Ephesians 4:31-32 and write down the things you should do in place of being bitter.

  2. Write about five situations where you have needed the forgiveness of someone else.

  3. Write a sincere note of apology to the person who has wronged you.

  4. Memorize three verses about forgiving others.

Topic: Comfort after Death

Definition: Comfort (after death) is relief or inner peace even after the loss of a life.

Verses/counsel

Read Psalm 23. God comforts in time of death. As a shepherd, He leads us and helps us. Nothing happens that surprises God. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4)

Psalm 139 explains that no matter what you are thinking, where you are, or who you are, God is with you. He cares about your every need.

When you are hurting or sad, you can call upon the Lord to help you. "Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." (Psalm 55:22) "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." (I Peter 5:6-7)

God"s Word can comfort you in your time of loss. "Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope. This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me." (Psalm 119:49-50)

When a saved person dies, you can have peace, knowing he or she is in a much better place. "Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace." (Psalm 37:37) "For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death." (Psalm 49:15) "The wicked is driven away in his wickedness: but the righteous hath hope in his death." (Proverbs 14:32)

Reasons for the problem

A lack of comfort is because of failure to trust in God.

Ways to overcome the problem

  1. Realize Christ victory over the grave has also been promised to you (I Corinthians 15).

  2. Understand that God is still good.

  3. Trust God to help you through this difficult time.

Homework

  1. Memorize three verses on comfort.

  2. Pray and ask God for comfort and read His Word.

Topic: Discouragement

Definition: Discouragement is a sadness caused from dissatisfaction because of unpleasant circumstances or failure.

Verses/counsel

"Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee." (Deuteronomy 31:6)

God told Moses and Joshua to be of good courage. "Then shalt thou prosper, if thou takest heed to fulfil the statutes and judgments which the LORD charged Moses with concerning Israel: be strong, and of good courage; dread not, nor be dismayed." (I Chronicles 22:13) "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." (Joshua 1:9)

The Bible is the answer to discouragement. God must be everything to you. "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD. Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek. Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." (Psalm 27:1-14)

"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." (Proverbs 13:12) God gives peace and strength to those that trust Him. You do not need to be discouraged when you believe He is helping you through life. "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:" (Isaiah 26:3-4)

Reasons for the problem

  1. Some get discouraged when they stop spending time with God and become lonely.

  2. Some people focus on their mistakes and instead of the future God has for them.

Ways to overcome the problem

  1. Get to know God and His Word better.

  2. Press forward for Christ.

Homework

  1. Memorize three verses about courage or strength coming from God.

  2. Pray and ask for God"s help.

  3. Find ways to encourage others.

Topic: Forgiveness (of God)

Definition: God forgives on the bases of Jesus" shed blood on the cross. Forgive means that God has chosen to remember our sins no more and to cleanse us from the guilt and eternal penalty of them.

Verses/counsel

God does not just cover sin, He cleanses sin. Only Jesus" work on the cross could do this. "By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." (Hebrews 10:10)

You can know your sins are completely forgiven. "These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God." (1 John 5:13) "And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses;" Colossians 2:13 " I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name's sake." (1 John 2:12)

When Jesus was on the cross at Calvary, He still had a heart ready to forgive. "Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots." (Luke_23:34)

God will forgive you, even if you have messed up numerous times. Though sins are forgiven by God, sometimes you will still face lingering consequences for your iniquity. "If he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him." (Luke 17:4) "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

Reasons for the problem

  1. Some feel God cannot forgive them because they have sinned too many times.

  2. Some do not understand the extent of God"s forgiveness.

Ways to overcome the problem

  1. Trust God"s Word and choose to believe it.

  2. Confess any known sin to God.

Homework

  1. Memorize three verses about God"s forgiveness.

  2. Read about Jesus" death on the cross. Write down several things He bore upon Himself in order to pay your penalty for sin.

Topic: Friendship

Definition: A friend is a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

Verses/counsel

Sometimes, a friend may be unfaithful to you or not have time to spend with you. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." Proverbs 27:6 "Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother's house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off." (Proverbs 27:9-10)

"He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him." (Proverbs 27:14)

It is good to have many friends who can help you to grow spiritually. Make sure you are trying to be a godly friend and encouragement to others. "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." (Proverbs 27:17) "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

Ruth and Naomi were friends. "And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me." (Ruth 1:16-17 )

1 Samuel 18-20 tells of the friendship of David and Jonathan. Because they cared for each other, they helped each other, even in difficult times.

Job had three friends. "Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven. So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great." (Job 2:11-13)

Reasons for the problem

  1. Some people have no friends because they are unfriendly themselves.

  2. Some people feel awkward around groups of people.

Ways to overcome the problem

  1. Be friendly.

  2. Do things for others.

  3. Strive to be the right kind of friend and remain faithful.

Homework

  1. Make a schedule to help you discover how much time you have to spend with friends.

  2. Write three Bible verses about friendship on index cards.

Topic: Kindness

Definition: Kindness is having or showing benevolence.

Verses/counsel

Kindness is expected in the life of a believer. "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32)

You should have a brotherly kindness toward other believers."And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity." (2 Peter 1:7)

Kindness and compassion are very similar. Compassion is love in action. "But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth." (1 John 3:17-18)

Reason for the problem

Some are too selfish to take time to be kind to others.

Ways to overcome the problem

  1. Confess your lack of kindness as sin.

  2. Ask God to help you to be more kind.

Homework

  1. Memorize two verses on kindness or compassion in the Bible.

  2. Study the Bible story of the Good Samaritan. Write how each person showed kindness or a lack of kindness.

Topic: Lust

Definition: Lusts involve a passionate or overpowering desire or craving.

Verses/counsel

Lusting is sin! "So I gave them up unto their own hearts' lust: and they walked in their own counsels." (Psalms 81:12) "To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids." (Proverbs 6:24-25)

Just looking at someone and thinking a lustful thought is the same as committing adultery in your heart."But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."(Matthew 5:28) "And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful." (Mark 4:19)

You must choose to submit to God and not to lustful thinking."But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway." (1 Corinthians 9:27)

Reasons for the problem

  1. Dissatisfaction with what the person currently has causes him to want more.

  2. An improper thought life causes lustful actions.

Ways to overcome the problem

  1. Avoid situations where you are tempted to think lustful thoughts.

  2. Admit your lusting as sin.

Homework

  1. Ask God to help you in your thought life.

  2. Memorize verses on submitting to God.

Topic: Materialism

Definition: Materialism is defined as a preoccupation with, or emphasis on material objects, comforts, and considerations, with a disinterest or rejection of spiritual, intellectual, or cultural values.

Verses/counsel

The American lifestyle or the so called "American dream" is one of great wealth and greed. Many people live with the mindset of "I want everything," and "everything is mine." "Surely every man walketh in a vain shew: surely they are disquieted in vain: he heapeth up riches, and knoweth not who shall gather them. And now, Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in thee." (Psalm 39:6-7)

"Labour not to be rich: cease from thine own wisdom. Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven." (Proverbs 23:4-5)

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:11-13) "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19)

"Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself. But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." (I Timothy 6:5-8)

"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me." (Hebrews 13:5-6)

Reasons for the problem

  1. People want to "strike it rich."

  2. People crave more than what they can afford.

  3. Some become desirous of what others have.

Ways to overcome the problem

  1. Realize that God has given you all you need.

  2. Confess your sin of wanting excessive material things.

Homework

  1. Write a list of 25 things you are thankful for that God has provided for you.

  2. Memorize a Scripture verse about laying up treasures in Heaven.

Topic: Memories (Forgetting the past)

Definition: A memory is any thought or remembrance of the past.

Verses/counsel

"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13-14)

"Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds." (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Reasons for the problem

  1. Sometimes, people struggle to forget deaths, or other difficult circumstances from the past.

  2. Sometimes, people have never asked forgiveness for a sin, and therefore cannot seem to forget about it.

Ways to overcome the problem

  1. Ask God to help you.

  2. Confess any sin in your life to God.

Homework

  1. Memorize Hebrews 12:1-2.

  2. Write three things you need to forget or stop thinking about in order to become more Christ-like.

Where to look in the Bible

Have you ever had a hard time figuring out what verses to show children you are counseling? The following is a list of verses you can look up in the Bible when you need help with certain areas. More verses will be added to this list in the future.

Topics

God's love

John 3:16-17; 1 John 4:9; Jeremiah 31:3, Romans 5:8

Anger

James 1:19-21, Psalm 4:4, Ephesians 4:26, Matthew 5:22, 1 John 1:9

Salvation

Romans 5:8, John 3:16, Romans 6:23, Romans 6:23, Ephesians 2:8-9, Titus 3:5, Romans 10:9-13

Assurance

John 10:27-30, Romans 8:38-39,1 Peter 1:18-19, John 3:36

If I have failed

Psalm 56:3, Proverbs 22:3, 24:16, and Philippians 1:6, 4:13

I need to forgive somebody

Proverbs 21:13, Matthew 6:14-15, 7:1-5, Ephesians 4:32, and Colossians 3:13

Peer Pressure

Proverbs 4:14-15; Matthew 26:41; 1 Corinthians 10:13; Ephesians 6:10-18; II Peter 1:13-18; Daniel 1:8; 2 Tim. 2:5; James 4:7; Heb. 2:18; Heb. 4:15; James 1:13-15

Trouble Sleeping

Psalm 3:5, Psalm 4:8

I worry about things

Psalm 37:3-5; Proverbs 3:5-6; Matthew 6:24-34

God's will for now

Romans 12:1-2; 1 Peter 1:3-9; James 1:5-6

I am afraid

Isaiah 35:4; 41:10; Psalm 27:1; 46:1-3; 118:6; 2 Timothy 1:7; 1 John 4:18-19

I want to give up

Isaiah 40:31

I have a bad attitude

Psalm 19:14; 1 Corinthians 10:31; Philippians 4:4

Something really bad has happened

Psalm 55:22; Matthew 11:28-30; II Corinthians 3:5; Psalm 139; Deuteronomy 31:6; Joshua 1:9; James 1

I have sinned.

Hebrews 12:1-2; 1 John 1:9; Psalm 51, Psalm 139


 

 

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